It Ain't Easy Peeing Green

So being "green" is all the rage these days. All we hear in the media is how to conserve, save, recycle and if we don't then we are obviously bad, bad people. Companies are jumping on the green bandwagon in record numbers, most are just using it as a promotional tool. Sending me junk mail on recycled paper does not really qualify as being environmentally sound to me. At least the company that is sending me the advertising can put a cool logo on the mailer stating how green they are.

We, as a society are encouraged daily to conserve, save gas, save electricity, save water, don't pollute unnecessarily. I keep hearing how the world is facing a water shortage. I can see that in the desert parts of the world (like California and Texas) but where the most recent problem has been is in the American South, like Georgia. I am from California originally, where folks have been using "low-flow" toilets and "gray water irrigation" for years. I suppose a water shortage comes as a bit of a surprise in an area normally known for being very moist.

It occurred to me recently that I use a ton of water for flushing the commode. On a good drinking night I imagine I flush a hundred gallons or more down the drain. I therefore have decided to pee green. I don't mean that I plan on eating tons of green substances, or take some medication that will make my pee a nice shade of chartreuse. I am suggesting a return to the outhouse. That quaint shack built over a ditch in the back yard. Then all my waste would simply gurgle into a ditch where it could decompose naturally. No water used at all. All men could do their part by simply whipping it out and peeing behind the garage, anytime. No water, no flushing, no paper products used. Public decency laws could be changed to when the guys are out at the bar, drinking, a quick trip to the alley in back of the place could serve as the green pee area.

With this idea I have done my part to save the earth. I bet peeing green would save tens of thousands of gallons of water each year. If every man did this (yes the ladies are exempted for now) we could float Georgia with the water saved. Of course alleys and the back of garages may end up looking like some back street in Bombay. But what is a little odor and disease if we are saving the worlds water supply? If growing corn to make fuel is a green action to take, even though now there is a global food shortage, then peeing green to save water, even though the gutters may run foul with waste, cant be a bad thing, right?

Now I am making a difference, something has finally come along that I can do. I am not going to buy a Prius, nor am I going to use canvas bags at the grocery store. I doubt I am going to start using an electric lawn mower, and our town does not even offer a recycling program as part of trash pick up, so peeing green is my small contribution to saving our planet.

It is easy peeing green after all.