My Amazing Life

Well, I certainly haven't blogged much lately. I actually have a running list of subjects to blog about and think about incidents in my daily life in terms of blog titles. Here are some examples; "Talking heads in space" while thinking of a response to current politics, or "commuting with idiots" when considering my long morning commute. Tonight I am going to write a watershed blog post, one that sort of catches up the long months with no word on this site.

By now everyone knows I have a "real" job, after nearly 10 years of being self employed, I am finally working for the "Man" again. I like it, I have the best job in the world, it pays very well, it is fun, I am constantly challenged and my boss rewards me for my efforts. Nearly every day I thank my higher power for the luck and circumstance that brought me to this place.

Getting a regular paycheck is nice, it allows one to plan for the future and provides structure. In the not so distant past, I never knew from one month to the next how I would pay the bills. Really, the month would start and I would only have the vaguest notion as to how I might get rent paid or the car payment met. I have lost utilities and gone without adequate groceries (please note I nearly always had a bottle of vodka in the freezer, there are more important things than food). Those days are over now, (now I have a huge, fully stocked bar!) I do not really worry about anything basic, more about how I might save some money. The problem I am dealing with recently is trying to save some cash, because I know I could lose this all tomorrow. I have lost it all before, so personal experience has proven that all things are fleeting.

I am living with my dream girl too, lately we have been like a married couple, there is lacking some of the powerful spark that characterized our relationship in the beginning. This is all completely normal, but tonight while I write this piece, I wish to proclaim publicly that for now and forever she is my soul mate, my best friend and the best damn thing that has ever happened to me.

Daisy got a haircut this weekend, she had a photo of Meg Ryan and took it to the stylist to re-create the hair in the photo on her own head. What a dramatic change a simple haircut can bring about, she is absolutely gorgeous in her new hair. I have always thought my girl was beautiful, but this simple change truly makes her even more beautiful to me. But I digress, I wanted to show how her love for me had totally changed my life. If I step back and look at her with the eyes that first saw her, the eyes that told me she was the one when I first saw her as she pulled up to the curb on our first date, the eyes that saw the woman I would be in love with from first sight. I can see even more of her now, way beyond the cute haircut and the pretty smile.

Without her, I would likely have continued as a self employed hack. Yes, I know, I worked hard and I did something most folks only dream about, I paid the bills by working for myself, I had the American dream of entrepreneurship for nearly a decade. In reality, I was socially stunted, I was abysmally lonesome and I drank too much (now I drink too much because it is fun, not for want of company). I would have kept going to bars, looking for one night of love, I would have maintained the status quo, and any attempt at solving my problems would have taken a very long and convoluted path to resolution.

Daisy changed all of that, she gave me a reason to break out and do well. I wanted to get a steady job so I could offer her more than the volatile nature of being a freelance web designer. I settled into a stable life with her, a happy life. I live in her house, but I pay my way, and it feels more like OUR house everyday. We never fight, we seldom get annoyed with each other, we often laugh and smile together, we often find yet another thing that we have in common, as well as discover differences. I do not like Brussels sprouts, to me they taste like burnt, bitter cabbage, but she loves them, steamed in butter. If we go our entire lives and only find things like differences in our taste of Brussels Spouts, I say we have every chance of being united forever.

So I owe my new amazing life to her, a new town to live in, a new job to go to, endless evenings with someone I cant wait to see each day, a bed with a beautiful woman who loves me each night. I really cannot ask for much more. I am truly content and only hope I give back to her what she gives to me each day. I am unworthy.

Looking back all I can say is, finally, I am enjoying a life of contentment, a life full of love, a life that has excitement for the future and enough freedom to not stifle, an amazing life.